just...in case

Listen, I know you're probably all not as dumb as I am, but I keep hearing this word "vetting" being thrown around re: Sarahface, and I finally figured I'd cave and check out the definition. Turns out, it's not referring to people going around, helping sick animals:

vet1 noun, verb, vet·ted, vet·ting. Informal. –noun

1.	veterinarian.

–verb (used with object)

2.	to examine or treat in one's capacity as a veterinarian or as a doctor.

3.	to appraise, verify, or check for accuracy, authenticity, validity, etc.: An expert vetted the manuscript before publication.

–verb (used without object)

4.	to work as a veterinarian.

And there you have it! Well...it...and a bunch of definitions that DO refer to people who, 'yknow. Help...sick...animals.

Biden reacts!

...isn't that a snappy little title? It sounds pretty dramatic, but really it mostly relates to a list I posted earlier from Indecision 2008.

Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden praised his Republican counterpart's acceptance speech as "incredibly well-crafted and delivered," but said Sarah Palin's rhetoric lacked substance. "I didn't hear the phrase 'middle class.' I didn't hear a single word about health care. I didn't hear a single word about helping people get to college," Biden, a U.S. senator from Delaware, told CNN's "American Morning" Thursday.

Not exactly a gripping article, but interesting that it relates to a goofy earlier post. Read on.

flop your vote?

This is easily one of the weirdest things I've ever seen.

i GUESS we can talk about him...

The Onion is a great read, every time, and you should absolutely bail on me right this minute to check in on them and make sure they're doing a stellar job, as they always do.

...Still there? Neato.

Right now I'm most amused by their latest article on McCain:

"John McCain is one of only two men who has a chance to become president of the United States of America, and by running an entire 600-word article about him, we are acknowledging that we are aware of that fact," a statement from the newspaper's editorial board read in part. "Even though we are certain that the presence of Sen. McCain's name and image on the front page will result in a decrease in reader interest, sales, and web traffic, running this story was, regrettably, the right thing to do."

The article is on the front page of their website, under "recent news," with the title "Top Story On John McCain Run Out Of Obligation."

Awesome.

quote of the day, take two

“She does herself a disservice to even mention it, really. When I hear a statement like that coming from a woman candidate with any kind of perceived whine about that excess criticism, or maybe a sharper microscope put on her, I think, ‘Man, that doesn’t do us any good, women in politics, or women in general, trying to progress this country.’ I don’t think it bodes well for her.”
-Sarah Palin, on Hillary Clinton's complaint of sexism running rampant in the election proceedings

In a parallel universe...

(here's the transcript for those of you reading at work who can't just, y'know, watch youtube videos all day)

strategery

I searched and searched and could not find a video of this skit (namely because it's been taken off of youtube), but I did find the transcript:

Announcer: Live, from the Clark Athletic Center at the University of Massachusetts, the first Presidential Debate. Here is moderator, Jim Lehrer.

Jim Lehrer: Good evening. I'm Jim Lehrer. Welcome to this, the first of three debates between Texas Governor George W. Bush and Vice-President Al Gore. Now, let's meet the candidates. [ Gore and Bush step out, shake hands, then stand behind their respective podiums ] Before we begin, I have been asked by the Bush campaign to announce that, for the next three hours only, viewers in the states of Michigan, Missouri and Pennsylvania have the option of free Pay-Per-View, courtesy of the Republican National Committee. On Channel 62, "The Perfect Storm", with George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg, the film Mike Clark of USA Today called "The perfect movie". On Channel 63, the grandeur beauty and savagery of ancient Rome came to life in "Gladiator" with Russell Crowe. [ Al Gore sighs ] "Gladiator. A hero will rise." Care for something just a bit naughty? On Channel 64, ten Penthouse Pets join forces with ten Playboy Playmates to find the perfect Hustler centerfold, in "Miss Killer Body 2000". Contains nudity. [ George W. Bush nods his approval ] With that out of the way, let's begin the debate. Mr. Vice-President, during this campaign, you have frequently called the Bush tax plan a "risky scheme". Why?

Al Gore: [ speaking slowly and in broken syllables ] Well, Jim.. Governor Bush and I have two ve-ry diff-er-ent plans to of-fer tax re-lief to American families. In his plan, the wealthiest 1% of Americans would receive nearly fif-ty per-cent of the ben-e-fits. My plan, Jim, is diff-er-ent. Rather than squand-er the su-plus on a risky tax cut for the wealth-y, I would put it in what I call a.. "lock-box."

Jim Lehrer: Governor Bush, your response?

George W. Bush: I don't know what that was all about.. but I'll tell you this: "Don't Mess With Texas!"

Al Gore: I didn't mess with Texas!

Jim Lehrer:Governor Bush, I listened very carefully to the Vice-President's remarks, and I honestly do not believe he messed with Texas. Now, Governor Bush..

Al Gore: [ interrupting ] Jim. May I ust say that in my plan, the "lock-box" would be used only for Social Security and Medicare. It would have two different locks. Now, one of the keys to the "lockbox" would be kept by the President; the other key would be sealed in a small, metal container and placed under the bumper of the Senate Majority Leader's car.

Jim Lehrer: Governor Bush, the next question is for you. Two weeks ago, at a meeting of the Economic Club in Detroit, you said the following: "More seldom than not, the movies gives us exquisite sex and wholesome violence, that underscores our values. Every two child did. I will." What did you mean by that?

George W. Bush: [ clears throat ] Pass.

Jim Lehrer: Perhaps if you could see it on a monitor?

[ the exact phrase appears on the monitor for Bush to read ]

George W. Bush: [ reads monitor ] Pass.

Jim Lehrer: Really? No idea what that could mean?

George W. Bush: Could be.. education?

Al Gore: Jim? I believe what my opponent in-tend-ed to say, was that all too often the ex-plic-it sex and whole-sale violence in films undermines our values.

George W. Bush: [ snaps finger ] Bingo! That was it! That was it!

Al Gore: I happen to agree with Governor Bush on that, and I commend him for it. But let me add something in my plan. The "lock-box" would also be camoflauged. Now, to all outward appearances, it would be a Leatherbound edition of Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas. But it wouldn't be. It would be the "lock-box".

Jim Lehrer: Governor Bush, this question is for you, and it concerns foreign policy. Last week, in Serbian elections we saw the apparent defeat of President Slobodan Milosevic by challenger Vojislav Kostunica. Yet, Milosevic refused to step aside. As President, would you apply pressure on Milosevic, and openly aid Kostunica and his Novia Serbskaya party? Or, by working with neighbors, such as Karadon Ragonovic of Croatia, Istivan Kajnoinsy of Hungary, or Anton Paslagaros of Greece?

George W. Bush: [ clears throat ] Well.. first of all, I think that any instability in that first country that you mentioned, is troubling.. and clearly the second guy who you spoke of, he beat the first guy. Now, personally, I favor seeking the diplomatic help of the person I'm gonna call "Guy #3". But I'm not going to pronounce any of their names tonight, because I don't believe that's in our national interest.

Jim Lehrer: Vice-President Gore?

Al Gore: Jim, let me here tonight issue a warning to the enemies, or potential enemeies, of the United States: you may think you know the location of the "lock-box". Maybe you do. Or maybe that's a decoy. Or a dummy "lock-box". Only the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, myself and Tipper are gonna know for sure.

Jim Lehrer: Which beings us to our final question. Governor Bush, both you and the Vice-President have offered plans to provide prescription drugs for the elderly. What makes your plan superior?

Al Gore: Jim, I'd like to interrupt here and answer that question as if it were my turn to speak. Jim, let me tell about a friend of mine. [ holds up a picture of an elderly woman ] Her name is Etta Munsen. She's 94, she's a widow living on Social Security in Sparta, Tennessee. Etta was born with only one kidney. She also suffers from poilo, spinal menengitis, lung, liver, and pancreatic cancer, an enlarged heart, diabetes, and a rare form of styctic acne. Now, several recent strokes, along with an unfortunate shark attack, have left her paralyzed and missing her right leg under the knee. Just last week she woke from a coma to find that, due to a hospital mix-up, her left arm had been amputated, infected with syphillis, and then reattached.

Jim Lehrer: Mr. Vice-President, we are short of time..

Al Gore: As you can imagine, Jim.. Etta's prescription drug bills are staggering. They run to nearly $113 million a day! And she tells me that some weeks she has to choose between eating and treating her Lyme Disease. Now, under my plan, Etta's prescription drugs would be covered. Under my opponent's plan, her house would be burned to the ground. And that is wrong. That is just wrong!

Jim Lehrer: Governor Bush? Response?

George W. Bush: I believe that some of those figures may be in-ock-urate.

Al Gore: Jim, what you just heard from my opponent is an attack on my integrity and my character. And I will not reply in kind. Instead, I will take those remarks and tuck them away, away in a tiny "lock-box", where all bad thoughts go.

Jim Lehrer: Well, that brings us to the close of tonight's debate. Each candidate will now give a brief closing statement.

Al Gore: Jim, may I make two closing statements?

Jim Lehrer: I'm afraid not. In fact, we are almost out of time, so I will instead ask each candidate to sum up, in a single word, the best argument for his candidacy. Governor Bush?

George W. Bush: Strategery.

Jim Lehrer: [ stunned ] Vice-President Gore.

Al Gore: "Lock-box".

Jim Lehrer: This concludes the first debate. Thank you, and "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Possibly the greatest SNL skit to date (although I'm sure you all remember this one fondly--but IN YOUR FACE, it's not a skit, it's a "digital short." BAM!).

quote of the day

"Barack Obama gets it."
-Joe Biden, potential future Vice President

Random...

...but funny.

Palin's speech

Here, courtesy of the New York Times, is the transcript of Sarah Palin's speech last night at the RNC.

And Here, courtesy of Comedy Central's "Indecision 08" website, is a list of 17 or so words not included in her speech (I say "or so" because one could argue that things like "brother-in-law" are more than one word).

Did anybody read all of that garbage about how the speech was originally written for Mitt Romney somebody more masculine than Palin? I mean, first of all, it's not like anybody writes their own speeches. That's why they employ speech writers. Come on. Second, forgive me, but don't you think every speech a potential presidential speech writer has written up until now would have been written for a man? I'm a girl and at least a moderate feminist and all that, but it's not like history repeats itself in terms of sexism or anything. Finally, honestly, how effeminate/masculine can a speech really be?? It's not like, if Romney were delivering it, he'd be talking about bitches and hoes, but since Palin's the one speaking, she's going to talk about knitting and nail polish.



:::edit::: uhh, she did too say "economy," "nuclear," and "talking snake."

...Just kidding about that last one.